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[02 Oct 2005|07:20pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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"the shooting star that destroyed us all"-a static lullaby |
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i made my decision.
and i'm happy to say that it was the better one. because now, i'm smiling again.
REAL smiles.
once again, i'm happy.
i wasnt sure if i ever would be again, but here i am proving myself wrong. and i'm glad i did.
thank you to the guy who's fault it is that my dimples are even more prominent*
and to the one i left behind, i'm sorry. but this was what i had to do to finally be me again. what we had you let go of and that was your decision. hopefully you can find it in your heart to understand what YOU TOLD ME TO DO. and hopefully you can be your old self around me again. i do not want our friendship to become a rotten one.
peace and love guys.
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| aww. |
[26 Sep 2005|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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"noise and kisses"/"on my own" the used |
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DeVaNaToR:
DeVaNaToR: we did have good times together..
DeVaNaToR: ill admit that
DeVaNaToR: for sure
mal discovered: yea
mal discovered: we definitely did
DeVaNaToR: uggh
DeVaNaToR: wut im trying to say is
DeVaNaToR: i miss u
DeVaNaToR: alot..
i miss you too devan.
i'm really starting to question what i really want. fuck. i've just been with him for so long that it makes other decisions questionable. dangg. i dont even know anymore. i find myself saying that way too much now. GIVE ME CLARITY! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO RELY ON!
i miss our happiness.
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[19 Sep 2005|06:21pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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"eating a book" he is legend |
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yes. i'm the best ever. <3 charleene, i love you more than anyone. dont let people who act like that push you around and make you have bad days. dont worry woman. you'll be fine in life.
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[29 Aug 2005|05:53pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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"in the cold" acceptance |
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you make me laugh.
and i adore you for that.
<3
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[26 Aug 2005|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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music |
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"the words 'best friend' become re-defined" chiodos |
] |
today, i can smile.
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| friends only... |
[29 Jun 2005|07:43pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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"familiar realm" cky |
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friends only why?
...just because i dont want some of you being idiots and giving me shit for not understanding my life. and obviously because most of the people out there are fags anyway. k thanks. comment to be added or kept.
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| so we decided on a name. |
[10 Jun 2005|12:42pm] |
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thank you for the help.
now introducing the cutest thing ever.......
PANCHO!
 yes. that's his sombrero. :D
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[09 May 2005|04:29pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
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music |
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"annunciate while you masticate" a static lullaby |
] |
haha.
you're gay.
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[26 Apr 2005|03:38pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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telephone ringing |
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it's times like these when little pictures like this make you laugh a little of your bad mood away.
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[20 Apr 2005|05:58pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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"stand up" a static lullaby |
] |
HAPPY 420 YOU FUCKS!
oh yea, and happy birthday mom!
...today... was an amazing day. it consisted of me ditching school with the boyfriend, then a SHITLOAD of smoking, and passing out, and smoking more, then me running around trying to find a ride home, then smoking more because ryan's the homie, then having to WALK half way home, then my mom finding me. :) i guess i had a blast. god, this week is full of love. i love everything right now. haha. WOW. i'm pinche high.
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[16 Mar 2005|07:29pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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devan on the phone NOT talking |
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i had a good day.
thank you. goodbye
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[28 Feb 2005|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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music |
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"all things ordinary" the anniversarry |
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the world misses kyle. especially me.
so here's a short tribute to him. we all can't wait to hang out with you when you're un grounded. but let it be known that i have FIRST DIBS! and i've held that since the 1st day he got grounded...
 
 excuse my chubby cheeks. that was the weekend i got my wisdom teeth pulled.
dude, we all love you so much. you dont judge, and you dont get mad. you see everything how it is and think its perfect when we all know it isnt. all you do is complement us. you never have anything bad to say. the weekend when i looked like shit, you assured me i was still looking quite alright. anytime i'm crying, you're the first to give me the great big hug i need. when i'm sick, you take care of me and make your sister pick you up early so that i can go to your house and sleep in your bed. when i'm having a problem with something, you tell me everything will be fine and you're always there to lend an ear and just listen. dude... YOU ARE THE WEEN. i fucking love you bro. :) thank you for being you and for everything you've done.
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[24 Feb 2005|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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music |
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"tool sheds and hot tubs" straylight run |
] |
*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN**GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*GRIN*
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[23 Feb 2005|06:47pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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"in the wake of the bunt" horse the band |
] |
i'm feeling just a TAD bit better today.
...friday should be better...
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[22 Feb 2005|03:07pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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"cutsman" horse the band |
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so i came to the realization that...
I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF.
you people who make me mad can SUCK A FUCKING DICK!
the person to blame for this feeling: my idiot mother and hypocritical brother.
...one person who makes me mad, makes me mad at the whole world. i fucking hate this shit. my mom ALWAYS makes me do shit that isnt even my responsibility. right now i have to clean a sink FULL of fucking dishes that i didnt even use... FUCK THAT SHIT GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKING BITCH AS SLUT NIGGER WHORE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...i did not mean that word racially at all. my apologies.
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[21 Feb 2005|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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dreams of reality |
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i got to see my baby today. :]
last night was fun up until my mom had to be a bitch.
i was SUPPOSED to spend the night at mary's and maxine's
we even snuck jake in. at 1:30 in the morning, my brother
and father showed up at their house to come pick me up
because my mom had a shit fit. i swear... she never lets
me stay anywhere... fucking bipolar ass...
"everyone gather around, the fight's about to begin. its me agains the whole wide world"
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[19 Feb 2005|04:33pm] |
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mood |
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loved |
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music |
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"enjoy the silence[depeche mode]" it dies today |
] |
i love my boyfriend, no matter what.
he's so adorable.
the littlest things he does make me laugh.
yesterday he kissed my cheek about a million times in a row
just because my cheeks are soft. :]
he dedicated this song to me..
"NO ONE LIKE YOU"-the scorpions
Girl, it's been a long time that we've been apart
Much too long for a man who needs love
I miss you since I've been away
Babe, it wasn't easy to leave you alone
It's getting harder each time that I go
If I had the choice, I would stay
There's no one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you
No one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you
Girl, there are really no words strong enough
To describe all my longing for love
I don't want my feelings restrained
Ooh, babe, I just need you like never before
Just imagine you'd come through this door
You'd take all my sorrow away
There's no one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you
No one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you
No one like you
and so.. i dedicate THIS song to him
"demolition lovers"- my chemical romance
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever
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[17 Feb 2005|09:20am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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"dead men tell no tales" the recieving end of sirens |
] |
okay so, i'm really fucking sick and it came out of nowhere.
yesterday my face was burning so bad i started to cry at del taco
right next to henry. then kyle took me to his house where i started
to cry once more. kyle then brought me medicine and put me in his bed,
pulled the covers over, put on some music, then told me to sleep.
him and henry then went outside to start up the hookah. my dad picked me up
and right when i got home, i went right to my bed. i stayed there for the
next 17-18 hours. my parents let me stay home from school. now i'm here,
my head pounding. face still burning. and missing my boyfriend and my friends.
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[14 Feb 2005|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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loved |
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music |
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"all things ordinary" the anniversarry |
] |
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ALL YOU LOVE BIRDS!!!
...and for the you others, HAPPY SINGLE'S AWARENESS DAY!
..aww that sucks. but i love you anyway! :]
check how cute devan is. he got me flowers and two little teddy bears.
the three flowers that ARENT roses are the ones kyle and jake got me like two weeks ago. THEY'RE STILL ALIVE!
devan and i went to his house after school... ah, good times. i love that boy.
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[13 Feb 2005|05:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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loved |
] |
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music |
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new A STATIC LULLABY |
] |
HAPPY TWO MONTHS BABY!
I LOVE YOU!
i DID take more pictures on my new camera yesterday... but when you hang around boys who like shiny objects, things tend to break... but its okay, i'm sure i'll get another one soon...
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